Aug 11, 2008

Did You Know?

That Cole has a big head? Apparently, having a big head automatically means you are going to be very smart because you have lots of brains. I understand my child has a large head...you don't have to point it out to me when you don't even know me!! I am getting tired of random people in public telling me how smart Cole will be because of the size of his head. Who gave these people the right to come up to a complete stranger and say this!? I don't walk up to you and state the obvious in an attempt to hurt your feelings. OK, I don't really think they are trying to be mean, but it does get to me. I have had 2 people in the past 2 months tell me that my son will be very smart. I know he will be smart, but for completely different reasons. I guess I should get used to the unwanted comments and the idiotic stares, but it's just hard. Luckily it's taken almost a year for the comments to start because I probably would have broken down in tears a year ago. Now I'm down with my venting...

Cole had a super awesome 2nd 1st Birthday party! LOL Pictures to follow...as soon as I can put down New Moon! hehe

21 sweet comments:

Danielle said...

I can totally relate. We've been getting the big head comments for 5 years not, my oldest daughter has always had a larger head. So we barely even notice Peytons! She just looks normal to us. :) But I know what you mean about the comments. All I hear is how "petite" and "small" and "little" Peyton is. And a few people have even said "my son/daughter/other was never that small!" I almost feel like saying "you have no idea..." and just walking away. Instead I smile politely and walk on. One of these days though...

danielle

Danielle said...

Just needed to say I realize I put not instead of now in the second sentence!!

Andrea said...

Grrrr...totally feeling ya!

Jennifer said...

There's just no accounting for the ignorance of some people. And some people just have NO BOUNDARIES, like strangers who comment on the size of a pregnant person or anything that's not their business! Sheesh. I wish I had a snappy answer for that stuff but I don't.

Hall Family said...

I hear you. I get strange looks when I tell people Parker is 16 months old. (And apparently, he is a little small even for a child with achon.) I usually just act oblivious, like..yeah, don't all 16 month olds look like this?

Destini said...

You are lucky it has taken this long - I remember the first time it happened to us - we were at a picnic, Trace was about 4 1/2 months old, and this little boy (probably 4 or 5) walks over and says "Your baby has a really big head", I took a deep breath and said "He's got lots of brains" through my tears. It was bad enough coming from an innocent child, couldn't imagine an adult being that rude! Wouldn't it be nice if rude morons wore shock collars that had universal remotes?

Katie said...

Destini- I too had a little boy say the same thing when Cole was 5 months old. I said the same thing- he has a big brain. Kids are one thing, but adults should know better than to be insensitive. I agree with shock collars...one can only dream!

Caden and Mommy said...

Katie!

I hear ya! I had my wakeup, wow, this is what lies ahead in life moment a couple of weeks ago. When my girlfriend was visiting we took our kids to the kiddie pool at the park down the street. There was a lady there with her little boy. As they wadded by us on his little floaty she said to him, "look, your not the youngest one here, there is a baby younger than you". I figured the little boy wasn't much more than a year old. Then another Mom showed up with her little one and I heard the mom conversing with the other mom. Sure enough she said her little guys was 11 months.
It is amazing the ignorance of some people. It kind of ate at me all week! I'm sure people don't mean to sound like DA's but they do!
I'm just glad we have all met through POLP and these Blogs. We can vent to one another and totaly relate!
Hang in there!
Trisha

Scott said...

Katie,
I fully understand. People are trying to be nice and maybe they don't really comprehend what hydrocephalus is or they just don't know what else to say. Either way, it totally gets to you after a while.
With Colby, the remark that gets to me is "ow, he looks fine! One day you won't even remember all you went through." I know they're trying to be nice and I'm certianly optomistic about Colby's future, but I have trouble stating that we'll someday not even remember our journey. I don't know why but this just gets to me sometimes.
So hang in there...bite your tongue and smile. People just love Cole and are doing what they can to support you guys.

Scott

The Hernandez Family said...

Katie, You are such a better person than I am. I would probably make some rude comment about them being really good "sitters" b/c their butts were so big. Or something mean like that! Or maybe something about them having a REALLY big couch....of course, I guess that wouldn't be being the bigger person. And it wouldn't teach Cole any good lessons. But it sure as heck would make me feel a little better! Love You!!!!

Sarah and Matt said...

ahh..the stupid comments. Yes, people are verty interesting and clueless sometimes. I joke with friends here that it's pretty weird people say OBVIOUS things about our children, we would never say, "oh my gosh you are so fat!" to someone just to clear the air :) I mean seriously! People are idiots sometimes. I know it's hard at times, but try to stay positive. I am a pretty sarcastic person, mostly for fun, but sometimes I like to make sarcastic comments in a very serious way to get people to really think about what I said. I understand how you feel though! Cole has great parents though and you will get through this all together during the bad days.

Slinkard Family said...

Katie,

We've never met, but I read your blog often. I have a child who was born quite prematurely, so she's still smaller than a lot of her 'peers' (at 7 months). While healthy overall, we still get those 'comparison' comments pretty frequently. Of course, our little girl will play catch-up and the prematurity will no longer be obvious at some point. With Cole, that's not the case. I think you are doing a great job! Cole is adorable and will have a long and happy life with family and friends who love him so much. You'd think that with the popularity of shows like "Little People, Big World", people would be smarter and more sensitive. I guess that's too much to hope for....
I guess most people (especially parents) can't resist that urge to compare their children to other constantly. We need to give it a rest, already.
Thanks for reading this post.

Jess said...

It really amazes me how ignorent, dumb and heartless some people are.

I dont understand how they dont realise that what they say may hurt your feelings.

My best friend is a dwarf and he gets really stupid comments like that but worse all the time.

I have read through a few of your plder posts and you are one tuff mumma. You have been through so much and yet you come out of it stronger than before....good on you :)

Jillsblog said...

Katie, I am kind of like Sarah, very sarcastic, so when people say something like "he will be pretty smart will all those brains" I just respond in sarcasm...make them think a little...and have a little fun at the same time for me. We have recently taught JD to say "I am not a baby I am 3!" He loves to do it and it amazes people, which makes me smile. Enjoy your little man, he is a lucky boy to have you.

Becky said...

Peoples' comments never cease to amaze me! When Olivia was first diagnosed with Achondroplasia, we got so many ignorant comments! Some people even acted like her brain wasn't going to function! One person even said "we can hope for the best" after I said her brain will still function just fine! I am sure those comments will only continue, but it doesn't make them any less painful!

Charmaine said...

I know how you feel, sometimes i am so amazed at how ignorant people can be, do they not realize how their comments hurt!!!! But not to worry you are a super dooper mommy and Cole has many wonderful supportive people in his life, his going to grow up to be a fine (and cute) young man, because of the way you raised him, "maybe I should get his number for Leah":-)
**** hugs!!

Jodi said...

I'm sorry sweetie. Sometimes people are just so insensitive. You are such a strong person, being able to handle the ignorance. Cole is so very lucky to have such a great mama!

Kim said...

It always amazes me that people have to say something. Sometimes I think that people feel if they ignore something (such as our kids being shorter) that they are minimizing it and hurting us by trying to ignore it. Does that make sense? So they say something usually out of curiosity but it hurts us sometimes. I only once got a big head comment when Preston was still bald from an Asian man who stated in his culture it was an honor to have a larger head.
Cole is adorable and you are a great mommy and that is why we have this little blogging group-it is totally normal to vent!
Hugs

Leann said...

How nice it would be if the world didn't have such ignorant insensitive people, huh?
vent away if it eases some of your irritation!
P.s. Cole is a cutie no matter what they say!

Lisa said...

After reading everyone's comments, I wish I had something more positive to add. I will say I think with time (4 years now), I'm handling the comments better than before. Oh, that doesn't mean that it doesn't still hurt...of course, it does. But I think I'm better at reacting. Yes, sarcasm works best for adults. Sometimes, I just look at them and say nothing and they get so embarassed because they realized they completely screwed up.

How Life Is Measured said...

One of these days I'm going to look someone dead in the eye after they make a stupid comment and say "F*&k you". It would be kinda funny to see someones reaction after that comment.
Somedays I'm eager to explain - others not so much. I think generally people mean no harm, but some days are harder than others.
I'm with you sister. At least we have a whole bunch of people who understand!
Cat